Monday changes

So the controller of the company that I work for is officially leaving for another job. I have worked for Kim for 4.5 years, and will certainly miss her. She was a fine person to work with. We celebrated her new endeavor with a field trip to Burdicks for some chocolaty-doccolotty treats, and coffee. I'll wave as we pass in opposite directions down the highway.

Sunday Riding

When my daughter and I left the mountain Saturday morning it was snowing. When we arrived home, it was sunny out. Later on it rained in the afternoon. Sunday morning, I cam to find out while it was raining in Brat, it had been snowing at Mt. Snow. My first run down started with some warm up turns on Freefall into PDF. The mountain was blessed with at least six inches of pow. This did not include all the windblown drifts. Wow, what a day. It actually snowed all day Sunday, until it was time to go home. Another brilliant day of riding. Things did get a little hairy at the end of the down on Olympic. That turned out well for everyone. Whew.

The Harness

We hit the mountain early Saturday morning for some fine turns in the corduroy. Well I made turns while my daughter made French fries. We enjoyed Deer Run, Rusty Nail, and Fairway. Trout and Lila showed up and we all got to ride lift number 3. It was an action packed morning, followed by an even more exciting adult oriented evening.
The Manzo threat came to fruition, actually it was a double Manzo sighting. He, and his brother showed up in VT, along with Scott's friend Lanna. Iz, and I met them all for dinner at Shin-La. While we intended to have sushi, it turned into a full tilt night at Peter Havens, complete with a detour to the wine bar, and seven degrees of separation.

Classic New England Storm Today

Today in Vermont we are enjoying a classic New England snowstorm. This came complete with snow, sleet, freezinain, and just plain old rain. I checked in with my friends over at the summit of Mt. Snow this morning and they reported 12 inches of pow-pow. When I called around three pm It was reported to be raining, and everything was icing over, READ: hard and nasty. It should be switching back to all snow in the next couple hours, so with some creative grooming everything should be in good shape for the weekend, except the woods!!!
It's raining now so I'm bailing out of work early to get home before it switches back to freezing rain then snow. Enjoy your weekend, I know I'll be ripping it up on the slopes, and in the backcountry over the next few days.
I friggin love for this kind of weather.

Racking the lager

I'm going to be working down in the brewery tonight. No brewing, just allot of lager racking. I have twenty gallons of lager in one stage of fermentation or another, which require racking to new vessels. I could stand to do some cleanup down there as well. Perhaps, I'll wrap up the taxes this evening, and put the 2006 tax year to bed after I'm done in the brewery. If time permits I'll also start designing my next beer, which may possibly be a Märzen. woooo, maybe I'll get freaky and perform a triple decoction with this beer.

Haiku Wednesday

Snow just keeps falling.
Daylight savings arrives soon.
George Bush is a mook.

It's not Globus Hystericus

I'm still fighting off these cold and flu like symptoms. Even with the day off Monday I still don't quite feel like I'm running at even 75%, although my taxes are over 75% completed. I did manage to get out for my sister's yoga class which proved to be a minor benefit. I clearly had a difficult time with some of the poses, while other seemed to work out flawlessly. So, while a part of me is clearly out of balance, other parts of me are seemingly in perfect harmony. Go figure!
I'm in the office today playing catch-up, and clearing my throat every 2 minutes. The provisioning department is going to love me today. I seem to be filled with copious amounts of phlegm, that has manifested itself in the back of my throat. Oh, joy. Let's just hope for the best, and I'll do what I can to keep the sputum off my desk. Wow, That was probably TMI. My apologies for ruining your appetite.

Fighting it off

It's Monday, and I have been fighting off sickness since Friday night. I'm taking the day off today, and enjoying some much needed downtime. Iz is off visiting the Miller's in Groton, CT. They are getting ready for their big move to Seattle on St. Phatty's day. So it could be awhile until we see them again.
I was feeling a little sick Friday night, and seemed to recover Saturday morning only to start feeling icky again on Saturday evening after working at the mountain all day. Same thing Sunday, felt fine in the am, and then as the evening wore on I felt worse. I'm totally laying low today except maybe for my sister's yoga class, which may actually help matters. Funny thing is before we had children I never used to get sick other then a head cold every once in awhile. Now I usually lose one or two days a year to being sick other then sick in the head, which is ongoing. I did start the taxes today.

Sunday sliding

Today we got out for some sledding fun over at Living Memorial park.

What's that on your head?

The Mockler Experience

We got to enjoy dinner with one of our very best friends on Saturday night. It's been well over a year since we have seen Mr. Mockler. He dropped off the radar a little over a year ago, and finally surface for dinner with Iz and I. Things usually start out pretty reserved, but ultimately turn a bit zaney as was the case last night.
Even our discussion about the Cat-cow got out of hand. funny how pronunciations can be misunderstood.

It's snowing again

It's snowing today. The snow is loaded with a great deal of moisture which should make for great snowman building. It started snowing on my way home from from work this afternoon. I picked up the girls at daycare and we went sledding over at Living Memorial Park. We ran into Lisa and Elliott who did a few runs with us, and later Tara & Liam showed up. We all had a blast. Liam had his skis with him, and even let Grace borrow them to do some sliding around. We are expecting 1-3 inches total tonight. I hear the neighbors plow already.

A Light American Pilsner

I felt like a bumbling brewer Monday night. If it's not one thing it's your mother. Well, not exactly. My mom had nothing to do with tonights brew. It was all my own undoing.

• First off the gravity of the Bohemian had only dropped to 1.032, so it was clearly not finished fermenting.
• Second I lost about 1.5 gallons of beer when my syphon clogged and got stalled several times.
• I totally missed my gravity on this one. The target was 1.050, and I hit 1.038. As you can see my mill, mills crap for efficiency.
  

With that said I made a really light beer with 100% Pilsner malt. The upside to all of this is that this beer will be an ideal lawnmower beer for those 4 really hot days we get here in Vermont during the Summer.

snow, yes

I have been riding my snowboard allot in the past few days. I'm tired, and will report back soon on the experience.

Haiku wednesday

Epic powder day
Beard is frozen to collar
-Hopping snowshoe hare

Bohemian Pilzner Round III

The brewery is back in operation after a 60 day hiatus. This evening I performed single decoction mash, and brewed up 10 gallons of my Bohemian Pilsner. The basement temperature is holding steady at 50-52 f, which makes it ideal for fermentation using lager yeast. I did a little bit of of cleanup in the brewery tonight, and even defrosted my keg refrigerator. The basic game plan for the remainder of the Winter is to make several batches of beer experimenting with different strains of lager yeast. Naturally this will require a lagering chamber, and since the keg refrigerator is presently void of any beer, it will suffice as the logical solution for lagering since I can fit six cornies in there. This will hopefully get me motivated to get the rest of the hardware to complete the three tap system. Prosit!

Haiku Wednesday

Total Bluebird day.
Brilliant Winter Sun shines high.
-Stuck in the office.

Brrr it's cold

I awoke last night when Grace hopped into bed, and noticed it was quite chilly. Luck would have it the furnace went out because the line on second tank was not opened. What joy to be fiddling around with the furnace, priming the lines at 3:00 AM to get the heat back on. Needless to say it was a challenge to get out of bed this morning, let alone consider running. Temps hovered around 1 f last night. Oh the joys of home ownership amidst a New England Winter.

Slightly worn out from the weekend

It all started with driving to a 50th birthday party in a blinding snow storm on Friday night, I exhausted all of my homebrew for the party goers. I only got to enjoy discussing the redeeming qualities of this beer with fellow party goers as, I was designated driver for the evening. With that said it's time to start brewing again.
Saturday involved another birthday party, only this one was a surprise 30th birthday party for my friend Heath. This bash started at 6:00 pm. Needless to say I had my swerve on by 9:00 PM. This party involved A barn, allot of Red wine, a bonfire, Josh A and Daq sighting, as well as some big cones. Iz and I made it home safely (just barely).
Sunday's Stupidbowl party was by far the most low key event of the weekend. The game was marginally exciting, while the food and beer was extraordinary. My tail was dragging this morning.
BTW way Manzo never showed. He called and gave some story about being ill.

Return of the white blanket

We finally have some snow on the ground after an unusually snow free season. This beats the brown winter of 1979. At least it feels, and looks like winter outside now. More snow please.

Rest peacefully Pat

I just got word this morning that my friend Pat Danahy passed away last night due to a brief illness. He skied his last run at Mount Snow around Christmas this past December. He was in his mid eighties. Pat was a lifetime member of Mount Snow ski patrol with over 55 years of service and was the first man to ski Mount Snow. Heath and Tony proceeded directly to Pat's Pitch and poached it this morning. Get out today and take a run for Pat. You'll be missed old friend.

Manzo Threat Advisory

The present Manzo Threat advisory has been changed to Orange: Presently there is a high risk that Manzo may come to visit this weekend. We have parties to attend Friday, Saturday, and Sunday this weekend. I can't tell you the last time my schedule was booked with this many events, let alone the last time I actually made it out to a party. It will be critical that Manzo show up on time Saturday otherwise he'll miss the boat and be stuck at home with the babysitter, while Iz and I are busy tossing a coin to see who's going to be the designated driver.

Got my laptop back

I got my laptop back today. What a PITA that was. I need to buy the IT guy lunch today for all the hardwork he did to recover my data. He even gave me a RAM upgrade to boot. Yipee! Now all I need to do is get a gasp of air before I dive back into my day and make up for losing the last three days without my computer.

Haiku Wednesday

Winter storm brewing
February snow fall
Want some hot cocoa?

Recovery, blogging, and Ben Harper

Despite Friday's disaster with my laptop, I managed to actually stay busy at the office all day with minimal distractions. Enough shop talk. I try to avoid talking about work if at all possible. It's not that I don't enjoy my work, I'd simply rather engage in more interesting topics like beer, cycling, or winter sports. Lately I have been sharing some aspects of my most intimate relationships and the many emotions that come with them.

I'm doing okay most days, managing to get thru each day 24 hours at a time. Some days are better then others. The past 9 months of my life feel like a Ben Harper song. Pick one, any one cause it seems so many of them ring true to some aspect regarding my life experiences in the past 9 months. I even had a dream recently that Ben Harper was a close friend of mine, and he kept coming to me for ideas on new material.
BTW- Finnie was our special suprise guest for dinner last Thursday! Finnnnnie.

Crash and burn

When it rains it pours. My laptop crashed first thing this morning. Seems my hardrive is not being recognized. GULP! Wait, it gets better The company IT specialist is off ice fishing today, and I have not backed up my local outlook files in close to a month. Double Gulp. For now I'm stuck in the billing department working off my roaming profile, and telnetting to the mail server to get my mail. Guess I better download CRT or something to make reading my mail tolerable.
It's shaping up to be a long day. Did I mention it was -1 f this morning, so I skipped my run. In hindsight, I guess I should have ran, and kept on running, or taken the day off and gone to Killington with my brother. My prediction for today is that I will not get shit done at the office. It's a pity I don't have my ski/snowboard gear because my office is only 50 minutes from Killington.
It's another Fucking glorius day!

A visit from Uncle Tommie

My brother Thomas and his friend Larry are coming to visit for some skiing. Tonight we'll be making pizza at the house with the everyone but Iz. She's working tonight. Pizza and beer Yum. Word is there will also be a surprise visitor joining us this evening. Despite the cold temps we'll be skiing this weekend. A posse not including myself is headed to Killington Friday. Saturday & Sunday at Mt. Snow. Winty will be skiing with us if it's not to insanely cold. Sunday will be a ski patrol day for me. Lot's of fresh air and sunshine this weekend.

Haiku Wednesday

Abundant weather
Cold blustery conditions
Let's bake some cookies.

Muddling thru

Today was a very difficult. I found myself hanging on by a thread all day. Many different emotions passed thru me today. Some of them included joy, fear, sadness, and anger. Today was a day of letting go, and it was very hard. Tomorrow is a new day.

Weather fizzle

Trout reports that the weather system that potentially could have provided us a nice dump, has fizzled. It's just going to be cold this weekend. Baa!

Baking cookies instead of practicing my survival skills

Late in the day last Friday I decided to bail out on the Glastenbury trip for the weekend. Temps were going to be way to cold, and the wind. It would have been a miserable endless slog in and out. Instead I went out for a shorter low key hike with the girls, and baked cookies. Oatmeal chocolate chip cookies to be exact.
Since I was staying home this weekend I suggested to Iz the possibility of dinner guests Saturday night. Christine and Trevor came up with Autumn and Ethan. The children hardly ate a bite by the way. Too much excitement for them. It was great to catch up with Trevor. He finally got to see my brewing operation. Wow, it's been a long time since he's been to the house! It was nice to be hanging out with friends at home, enjoying some nice dinner, homebrew, and good conversation. Christine clearly enjoyed copious amounts of wine, and would surely be in pain Sunday morning.
This week is shaping up to be a really busy one jam packed with work, visitors, and appointments. Thomas and Roddy are arriving for a visit this week for some skiing. I may try to take off Friday and go to Killington if my schedule permits.
BTW I was at the Mountain Sunday, and the temps finally got up to .4 f around 2pm at the summit. This made me think how F-ing cold camping out would have been Saturday night.

Weather discussion for next Thur & Fri

WTF? Here is the current weather discussion for next week. At this rate I'll be able to ski up to Glastenbury. Could be a big event headed our way.

THU AND FRI...

WOW!!! HOW ABOUT THAT 12Z GFS AND 12Z UKMET? A CLASSIC NEW ENGLAND COASTAL BOMB WITH SYSTEM BECOMING VERTICAL STACKED...YIELDING A LONG DURATION WINTER EVENT HERE. ALTHOUGH...WE MUST BE REALISTIC AS THIS IS STILL 6-7 DAYS AWAY. HOWEVER...THE 12Z GFS ENSEMBLE MEAN HAS TRENDED DEEPER AND FARTHER SOUTH WITH BOTH THE UPPER TROF AND SURFACE LOW. THIS IS SIGNIFICANT AND COULD BE THE BEGINNING OF A TREND. 12Z GGEM NOT AS AMPLIFIED AND 12Z ECMWF HAS BACKED OFF FROM ITS PREVIOUS RUN. LOTS OF MIXED SIGNALS AMONG THE MODELS...HOWEVER THE LONG WAVE PATTERN DURING THIS TIME FRAME DOES FAVOR A SIGNIFICANT PRECIP EVENT

HERE IN NEW ENGLAND...WITH A +PNA ALONG WITH A -NAO. IN ADDITION...

RESEARCH FROM THE GOOD FOLKS AT UALBANY INDICATE IT/S DURING THIS TYPE OF PHASE CHANGE...PNA BECOMING POSITIVE AND THE NAO BECOMING NEGATIVE THAT CLIMATOLOGY FAVORS A LARGE PRECIP EVENT HERE IN THE NORTHEAST.

LOTS OF DETAILS TO BE WORKED OUT...ESPECIALLY ON HOW PROGRESSIVE THE WESTERN RIDGE BECOMES AND ITS AMPLITUDE...WHICH WILL ULTIMATELY IMPACT THE CONFIGURATION AND DEPTH OF THE DOWNSTREAM TROF HERE IN THE EAST. HOWEVER ENOUGH SUPPORT HERE TO KEEP CHANCE OF SNOW IN THE FORECAST THU AND FRI. STAY TUNED!

Prudence

1. the quality or fact of being prudent.
2. caution with regard to practical matters; discretion.
3. regard for one's own interests.

With that said...Yet again I'm going to likely postpone my camping adventure. The updated weather forecast is calling for sustained winds up to 50 mph Saturday night, Wind Chill Saturday night around -22f. I may be crazy, but I'm no fool. So yes, postponing this trip would seem to be the prudent thing to do, after all this event should be a positive experience, one that doesn't include testing the limits of my survival abilities. Trout, Bo, and I may still do a quick scramble up Bald Mtn. Saturday.

Preperations for the weekend.

I'm getting all my gear together for Saturday. Trout has been providing weather updates, and forecasts daily. We have been discussing how the weather may play out this weekend. With any luck perhaps a little snow may keep the temps on the warmer side. The unknown variable concerning any snow squalls in the area could be the difference between .5 inches, and seven inches. Hiking in the snow can be allot of fun, hiking in the wind can be a PITA. The other concern is the wind. Forecasts are for wind speeds of 20-25 mph out of the north. I don't know how psyched I am to have that blowing in my face all day.
Murph has a fly that he is going to lend me to set up in the shelter. It's a free standing fly that I'm planning on using to trap in some heat, and some extra, and shelter from the wind.
Trout and Bo have volunteered to join me to the summit of Bald Mtn. I'll use this initial stretch of the trip to gauge whether or not I want to carry on if the weather is too gnarly.

Haiku Wednesday

Gathering my gear
New moon on Glastenbury
~Vision Quest for me.

Racking beer and Drinking Beer

I stopped by the house to pick up a few things, and kill some time before heading over the see Ray last night. While in the basement I dispensed the last bit of Porter into a growler. While it may seem like it was consumed rather quickly (3.5 weeks) this keg actually carried me through several holiday events, not to mention football games. I had five more gallon in secondary fermentation, that I racked into a keg, and put on gas. My beer inventory is getting pretty lean, so after my camping trip I think it will be time to buckle down and get brewing again.
I met up with Ray for some good conversation and some exceptional beer last night. The dead horse IPA is dead on. He's great brewer, a brilliant man, and an awesome friend. I filled him in on my plans for the weekend. Looks like it may snow Friday.
Today is the first Wednesday in months that Iz and I have not gone to see Joe. Wow.
Being separated does pose some logistical challenges, and requires one to constantly rearrange priorities. The space is nice, not being grounded is a bit of a hassle.

The list of required gear

I'm putting my mental list together of the equipment that I will need for my vision quest. I started pulling equipment out of the attic yesterday. Winter camping for me has been a great way to look inward. Going solo this time will hopefully provide me with some insight as well as clarity.

Comes a time
when the blind man takes your hand
says: don't you see?
got to make it somehow
on the dreams you still believe
Don't give it up
you've got an empty cup
only love can fill

taking me to the rack

It's the the third day in a row of rain. Why can't it be snowing? Today we are enjoying Freezing rain. The girls are going stir crazy, not to mention myself. Despite the heinous conditions, We need to get outside. This is going to be essential to preserving our sanity today.
So off we go for our adventure in the freezing rain. This of course will be concluded by some hot cocoa when we finish jumping in every puddle in the neighborhood.
I need to start getting all my camping gear ready for the weekend. Looks like it will be a cold one.

Impromptu pizza party

Distractions, Distractions. Well the Eagles lost Saturday night, shattering their hopes for another visit to the super bowl. They made it a heck of a lot further then I thought they would after Mcnabb's injury laid him up for the rest of the season.
A call from Eve with an invitation to watch the Pat's game at her parents house on Sunday afternoon prompted me to suggest and put the wheels in motion to watch the game at my house. After all, I do have this enormous 52 inch television that came out of my Grammy's house after she passed away a few years ago. Why not watch the game on the bog screen? My quiet evening of watching football with the girls would turn into an impromptu pizza party. Eve and Michel, Henry and Rachael, and then all the children, err....Girls Five of them to be exact. Olivia didn't make it but it was still a house full of young girls running around having a good old time while us adults munched on homemade pizza, and beer. Oh and the desert, yes one cannot forget Eve's sinfully delicious chocolate raspberry squares. So Heavenly.
All is well.

Warm and moist

The skiing was actually pretty good Saturday despite the lack of terrain, the crap weather, and the skier traffic? I really don't like working the patrol gig on Saturday's but it has become somewhat of a essential evil this season only because of scheduling. It does however provide me with the distraction I need right now.

Weekend Plans, not as planned.

It would seem that none of my original plans for this weekend are actually going to work out. Even my contingency plan fell through. My back up to my back up plan? Maybe I'll make some beer this weekend. It's been over a month since the last time I brewed. It's not that my beer situation is in short supply, oddly enough I have cut back on my consumption lately and it feels pretty good.
So I'll be working at the Mountain on Saturday, followed by some Eagles Football Saturday night. Lay low Sunday & Monday with the girls depending on how the weather actually shakes out. Finish off the holiday with some Yoga Monday evening, and a solo sushi excursion.

Taking a Break

I have decided to take break from everything right now to re-examine the vital relationships in my life. With so much running through my head I can't even think straight anymore. It has become my Stop the Madness campaign. I'm doing this in an effort to prevent any destructive behavior that will have only deleterious effects on all of those that I love, including myself. I don't want to ride this roller coaster right now, so I'm taking a break. Under the recommendo of Elk, I think I'll take a walk in the woods for a few days to help sort this out. I'm considering the Glastenbury loop located in the Bennington Triangle. Who knows, perhaps I'll encounter some extraterrestrials that my provide insight on interdimensional travel. Now I just need to make the time to do it. It would seem I could do it without any light under the a new moon or under the light of a full moon.

Haiku Wednesday

Breezy Winter day.
Swirling Eddies all around.
-It's a Jimi thing.

Stop the Madness

It's time for me to take a break and meditate in order to more closely examine my dream. Right now my reality is occluded and this hampering my ability to make clear decisions on my path in this life.
I have been spending time at B's house which is the ideal setting for meditation. No phones, No Internet. In short no distractions. I sat and meditated last night for an unknown period of time. I eventually laid down, and continued until I passed out. I feel that I probably could have gone all night just sitting there, breathing, and being in the moment. Usually I am able to just free my mind of all thoughts the difference with my meditation last night was all the thoughts that came and went, like shooting stars starting so vividly then disintegrating into nothing.

There are things you can replace, and others you cannot.
The time has come to weigh those things.
This space is getting hot, you know this space is getting hot.

Soft moon thru Maple branches

This shot was taken Wednesday night during the last full moon. While it's a more of an artistic shot, I guess? I never really considered myself an artist. It doesn't even compare to the early morning moon setting behind the tower at the retreat, or the moon rising over the hills of New Hampshire on my commute home Wednesday night.

Some wisdom to reflect on

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it's yours. If it doesn't, it never was...

This was shared with me early this morning and the more I think about it, the greater the meaning for me in my life right now.

Haiku Wednesday

Full moon at my back.
Twilight on the Horizon.
-Grazed by a car.

Black ice. It must be Winter!

Seems that Winter never really settles in for me until we get a few snow storms under our belt, and I get witness vehicles sailing off the road before my very eyes. It snowed last Saturday, and we got about an inch in town. Right, Whoopee.
This morning on my commute to the office some flatlanders from Maryland zipped by me on the interstate. They seemed to be in control of their vehicle until I saw the brake lights, then that tell tale swerve, followed by them over compensating, and breaking at 75 miles an hour on the black ice. They didn't quite do a donut, but they did get entirely sideways. The driver trying to recover turned the wheel hard in the opposite direction, and almost pulled out of it, but made that crucial mistake of laying on the brakes again, and that's when they crashed off the left side of the passing lane, into the median. Lucky for them the didn't flip, the car came to a rest in the dirt and snow between the north and southbound lanes of 91. I eased off the gas, slowing down and watching all of this unfold before my very eyes. It is always a surreal experience to see vehicles crashing around me as I'm driving down the highway. The irony of all this, is that the fire department and State police were already dealing with another wrecked car almost 100 meters south of where this jeep crashed. Drive safely out there. life is not a video game.

I continue to grieve daily, and wonder where the hell my life is taking me. I'd like to think all is well, but I'm not so sure. Skiing and my children seem to provide the only distraction from falling deeper into more sadness, and pain.

Surreal New Years day

Make mental note to self for the new year. Don't mix beer and wine to excessive levels. I don't no how it happened, but I somehow managed to get totally trashed on New Year's Eve. It wasn't even by design either. I seemed to have most of my faculties when I left Michael's restaurant, but that is when things get hazy...
The first day of the year turned out pretty good. Family days are fun.

On the Eve of the new year

Michael Fuller is making dinner tonight. We are having a date on this last night of the year. I sure hope 2007 turns out to be better then the last half of my 2006, which has proved to me a roller coaster of a ride of emotions. These past six months have been more challenging for me than I ever could have imagined. I find myself grieving daily right now. I'm still out to lunch and completely disconnected from everyone except my children. Here's to finding clarity in 2007. Happy New Year everyone, may 2007 be better then than the last year.
On a side note Winty and I got out and went skiing today. I pulled out the bright pink harness and she did French fries down Deer Run. Now if I could only get her to do a pizza wedge..

Another day out with the kid

Today was day number two out this season for my oldest daughter. I took the babysitter and her friend over to Mt. Snow today. Winty is enjoying the whole big mountain scene.

Why I don't ski/ride on Saturday's

I remember it clearly now why I usually choose to stay far away from the mountain on Saturdays. It is usually shear mayhem. As timing would have it this week, I ended up working at the mountain today. The crowds were pretty nuts. Grant it, while working I don't have to wait in line to get on the lift, but the skier/rider traffic on the trails was just nuts. Stuff was getting skied off by 9:30 this morning. Thank heavens for the couple inches that fell during the day, it really made a difference with the improvement of the snow surface by early afternoon.
Ski Patrol was kept pretty busy from early on today as well. I had my fair share of incidents to check out, which kept me distracted for most of the day.

Friday Excitement

Will it be the Monthsire, or Mt. Snow? It it will likely end up a Montshire Day. I'll call Maria and see if her, and, or, Matthew can bring their children down to the museum for the morning. It would be great to see Ella, and Peter, not to mention the frozen snow covered trails of the Montshire.
I have Dinner plans with Mike and Cynthia tonight. Maybe I can crash there before doing the patrol gig Saturday. All is well

What does the future hold?

I awoke this morning to both my little girls snuggling up to me. I have been told countless times by my friends and colleagues to cherish everyday with your children, especially when they are so young, as the times goes by so quickly. This is my first vacation in years where I have taken off to simply have some down time, and hang out with the family.
The irony in this is that my partner and I are talking about separating again. I'm experiencing a very difficult time in my life right now, and seek clarity on what my dream may be. All my dreams, and ideologies have been challenged, and for the first time in my life I'm beginning to wonder what do I really want for myself. Well, at least the sun is shining brilliantly this morning, and it's bound to be another fucking glorious day. For now I'll try to continue living in the moment, and live each day one at a time.

Haiku Wednesday

Wednesday skiing fun,
Riding the chairlift today.
-The jaws of deer run.

Making turns and taking turns

Winter and I went skiing today. It was her second day out this year. It provided a terrific distraction for me today. I have the week off, and have been enjoying some great QT with my girlie girls.
I checked out on Christmas day, and I'm trying to pull it back together. Life is funny. Once again I feel the need to make the time to nurture myself and pull out of this funk. I have hope that this soul searching may bring some clarity to my life.

Stretching my hole

No, It's not what you really think. It's the hole in my ear I'm trying to stretch so I can fit a larger gauge hoop.
By the way today's Haiku was inspired while I was running this morning. I saw this brilliant shooting star in the dark over Wantastiquet, all along with my usual early morning dry heaving in the cold air. Sorry about that visual, if you know me, you know how perpetually snotty I am.

Haiku Wednesday

Snow Covered Pasture
Magnificent Shooting Star
-Dry heaving cold air

Open up my head an let me out.

My life continues to be a rollercoaster of emotions, miscues, and miscommunication. While I am expressing unconditional love for all those in my life, I'm still struggling with these relationships. There have been many twists and turns that I have not anticipated.

On the beer front, I'm trying to pull my act together and come up with a beer to brew this weekend. My grain stash is almost down to nothing, so I'll likely need to see my malt pusher for a 50lb bag of the Pale Malt. Maybe some pilsner malt would be in line for some fine winter lagers. But then again if I could brew and Imperial Stout....

Dazed

My mind is in a haze today and I feel worn out. It has already been a long week, and I was up way too late last night making last minute preparations for the weekend. I can't seem to accomplish anything productive today. It's all good.

More FCA !

FCA doesn't stand for Fucking Crabs Again, It's my French Country Ale. It tastes pretty darn good. Nice and crisp and clean. Robin liked this Belgian style inspired ale, So last night Dave and I racked the rest of the FCA that was sitting in secondary fermentation since 10/29, and we racked another 5 gallons of the Cali Common to a keg as well. I think the Cali Common is my new favorite beer! Dave was impressed with the brewery. Funny thing he's been my neighbor for five years, and this was his first trip to the lab. Maybe I can talk Dave into filming his next music video my lab?

A visit from the Badapples

Our next door neighbors Dave and Robin are coming over for drinks tonight after the children are put to bed. It seems like ages since we have hung out. Dave doesn't know it, but I will be putting him to work in the brewery tonight. It's all good since we'll need to head to the basement brewery for the beer anyway. The week has been ripping by and I need to get the brewery in order before I head out of town this weekend. How ironic that the people so close to you can still be so far away, and those so far away can seem so close.

Beer Inventory

The 10 gallons of Porter brewed last weekend will need to be racked to a secondary fermentation vessel this week. Today would be a good day. I'm also considering putting the FCA & California Common I have in secondary fermentation into kegs to save some time, and energy. I really wish I could bottle these beers, but bottling has become more of a hassle then anything else.
I'll also need to consider what is going to be brewed next in order to keep my inventory at a reasonable level. It also provides me with a variety of libation on tap. Looks like the earliest date I can brew again may be 12/23.
Any volunteers to come over and help me bottle?

if I tell another what
your own lips told to me
may I lay neath the roses
and my eyes no longer see

Relationship dynamics

The past 10 days have been an absolute rollercoaster ride of emotions fo me. I have experienced feelings of compassion, happiness, joy, sadness, confusion, frustration, anger, and even loving kindness. I have laughed and cried allot this week. My partner and I have renegotiated our relationship so many times this week that my psyche is at odds with itself. As a result I am feeling emotionally drained. I'd love to say stop the ride I want to get off, but I know good or bad this experience that life is bringing me right now will be invaluable for my evolution as a human. I realize that there is nothing wrong with having any of these feelings, but it has been difficult to stay unattached to all these feelings. I wish I could saying I'm enjoying the ride right now, but I'm just trying to hang on!

The wheel is turning
and you can't slow down
You can't let go
and you can't hold on
You can't go back
and you can't stand still
If the thunder don't get you
then the lightning will

Finally snow!

Well there is finally some snow on the ground up here. None in town, but I heard 6-8 inches fell over in the Deerfield Valley last night, and the ground was white for the bus ride to work today. With any luck perhaps I'll get out for some turns on Sunday. Oh sweet carving turns on corduroy is what I crave right now.
Yes, I'm back on the bus, as the Honda is getting serviced, and well I needed a ride to work. The high school kids on the bus crack me up. This morning, they had me grinning as they sang "Build me up buttercup".
I'm going solo parenting for most of the weekend. Winty has been under the weather so it's looking like it might be pretty low-key. Perhaps we'll pull out the paint and practice some cubism this weekend, or maybe head to Trout's for a painting playdate.

Fermentation Moon

The Porter is fermenting like a lycanthrope under the light of a full moon. Speaking of full moons, I got out for an awesome full moon run. There was this brilliant ring around the moon this morning. The temps were sub twenty when I started out. I could feel the crunch-crunch of the permafrost under my feet with every step I took. Eventually I had to turn my head lamp off due to the fact that my breath was creating a micro fog in front of me every time I exhaled. I'm still running from my demons, but this time it was through the forest.

The double Standard

Unconditional love prevails. I'll land on my feet no matter what. Presently is seems however that there is a double standard in my life right now. I'm not okay with that.

Brew in

On Sunday I hosted a small brewing festival in my backyard. Folks from all over New England, and Upstate New York descending on my backyard for a brew summit. We ended up brewing a total 35 gallons of beer, and sampling many homebrews. We enjoyed some nice commercial treats as well by Oskar Blues, and The New Belgium Brewery. My legs were still very tired from fleeing the demons, so I didn't run today . I imbibed responsibly until after I put the children to bed. Once everything was cleaned up I managed to get my swerve on, and watch some football.

Porter anyone?

My ass is toast today. well actually it's really my thighs. Maybe I overdid it by running in the woods this morning, and then climbing up Pisgah today. All of it before noon. It would seem that my demons are still chasing me. On Sunday I will turn the tables and chase my demons!
On Sunday I'm hosting a brewing session in the backyard with several home brewers from New England. It should be quite the event. For you brewing pleasure Sunday, we'll be making my porter. It's a fine beer, that can be found here.

Comfortably numb

My journey down this amazing path of enlightenment is presently sucking the life out of me. It is a strange feeling, because I think that I should have more energy. Perhaps it is simply the outpouring of unconditional love that I have been expressing, or maybe it's just because I was up extra early, and ran five miles this morning in the pre-dawn mist. My life has taken yet another major turn, and I'll freely admit, I'm a little nervous venturing into the unknown. Yes I'm scared, very scared. With that said today's mantra is: ALL IS WELL

It's all good

This has been Saul Groovy's mantra for as long as I have known him. Even back in the days when we used to literally butt heads at lacrosse practice in college. All those ground ball drills helped foster a close friendship with my team-mate. Another close friend gave me some great insight yesterday as well. They suggested I do some smiling, I'm usually always smiling anyway but Wednesday would be different. It was a fucking fabulous day!

On a side note Trout advised that Jordan is going to be in town for a visit this weekend, I'm psyched to hang out with him, since we managed to blow off the Burlington moe. show due to Al's tendinitis. At least that's what we told Jordan.

The beer bath

I gave myself a bit of a beer bath last night after I racked 5 gallons of California Common over to a keg so it would be ready to drink by Sunday. After I sealed the keg, and put gas on it, I realized there was the teeniest tiniest bit of beer escaping from the the output valve for my dispensing disconnect. Not thinking I decide to gently push the valve in. and as a result got 28PSI worth of flat beer spurting all over my face. Wow what a rookie move! Chalk that one up to a learning experience.

Namaste' behind the back

I'm still a total newbie when it comes to Yoga. I must say however I do believe I am catching on quick thanks to my sister Pammy for introducing me to this great new pursuit. She has also helped me with some basic meditation as well. This has done wonders for my wellbeing, helping to bring clarity and balance to my mind, soul, and body.
This coupled with my other recent experiences has helped me make some huge strides in my personal development and spiritual growth. I managed somehow last night, to do Namaste' behind my back, yes me with my wrists of inflexibility I managed. Sweet.

Sunday Ride

B and I got out on Sunday for a nice road ride. We did the tri-state loop. 32 miles chock full of Cows, and one nuclear reactor. Better watch out for them railroad tracks on 142 heading back into town. It was nice and sunny. Hard to believe this is November. I enjoyed my downtime listening to some Chopin Nocturnes while remaining horizontal on the couch. Almost as nice as a hot tub!

Feeding the addicition

I got out for big turns today at the Mountain. It was my first day back working the ski patrol gig. Conditions were set for a perfect bluebird day. Lots and lot's of turns were made. It ended my near six month hiatus from riding my snowboard. Chute and River Run were open feeding into the North Face. Downloading was required at the end of the day, as there was limited terrain on the front side. Sure beats computer, phone, chair.

The dinner guest

Charmaine came over for dinner last night. Chicken Curry and sauted Kale with onions and garlic were on the menu. It was great to catch up with her, and relate to our similar situations. The girls absolutely love her. It's nice to be able to have a nice dinner complete with a tablecloth and candles again.
Time to ramp up for the holiday dinner in Greenfield Tomorrow. I'm in charge of making the gluten free stuffing again this year, which BTW was all the rage last year. Unfortunately the coop was out of the trademark tapioca bread I normally use. This time we'll get by with the Spelt alternative.
Any of you local readers are welcome to join in for the inaugural Resin Roll Mtn bik ride on Thursday at 8:30am leaving from from the main lot at Living Memorial Park.

Filling the gap

You may notice some posts popping up with odd dates, I'm still working on my posts while I was in Colorado.

The best laid plans of Toddlers and Dads

We didn't get to brew any beer this weekend as originally planned. It's all good since other priorities were bumped up on the list. Winty got fitted for her ski boots, dropped off her Volkl's for a tune-up and picked out a new helmet which she has been wearing non-stop since we left Alpine Traders. She did take the helmet off to go to bed. Now the only thing we need to start off our ski season is some snow.
Exciting isn't it?

Let's make some beer!

I'll freely admit I have been somewhat off the radar as far as my original intent of documenting mostly beer related stuff on this blog. It's all good, since it's my soap box I'll broadcast whatever I see fit.
Iz will be out of town attending a workshop for the entire weekend so aside from a trip to the Montshire Museum the girls and I will attempt another go at the California Common. Yes, my little assistants will be involved in brewing up 10 gallons of pure bliss hopped all the way through with Northern Brewers Hops! The Piney/raisiny taste and aroma has me salivating for one right now.

These words speak volumes to me

Ever heard a song that simply made you break down and cry? I mean a combination of lyrics and words so powerful that they brought a tear to your eye for no apparent reason.
Here is my short list of music that is guaranteed to make this grown man cry.
Star Spangled Banner- F.S. Key
Amazing Grace- John Newton
Rule Britannia - Thomas Augustine Arne
Morning Dew- B. Dobson

Forgiven- B. Harper
The lyrics to this song are so moving, that I felt compelled to post them. Call me sappy, but These words speak volumes to me.

I will wait like nothing
I have ever waited for
I will catch your tears from falling
Until from my hands they pour
You can leave me abandoned
I'll be here if you want back in
Like the rest I have been branded
Far beneath the skin
So far beneath the skin

You shall be
You shall be
You shall be forgiven
You shall be
You shall be
You shall be forgiven

Here I have been standing
While the time has come and gone
I tried singing to you
But you turned my words to stone
Here I have been waiting
It seems for quite a while
Changed all my reflections
But inside I'm still just a child
But inside still just a child

You shall be
You shall be
You shall be forgiven
You shall be
You shall be
You shall be forgiven

These eyes weren't made for crying
This love wasn't made to waste
These arms weren't made for battle
But to share your warm embrace
But to share your warm embrace

You shall be
You shall be
You shall be forgiven
You shall be
You shall be
You shall be forgiven
You shall be
You shall be
You shall be forgiven
You shall be
You shall be
You... forgiven

Transformation

The trip home on Sunday from Boulder left me doing much thinking about what my life has become and caused me to re-think what I desire out of this life. I feel transformed in many ways after this weekends multitude of experiences. What I certainly have learned from this trip is that no matter what I'm going to land on me feet, and I'm going to be fine.

To let go is not to regret the past,
but to grow and live for the future.

Friday Night- The Masonic Temple & The Boulderado

We dropped off the libation from Redfish at the Temple, and headed to some crunchy hippy overpriced supermarket to pickup the raw materials to make breakfast on Saturday and Sunday morning. Brian's state of the art kitchen complete with a Wolf range and Convection oven was too inviting for me to pass up. Upon returning to Brian's house at 6:00pm we found Rat still in his Pajamas. I guess the combination of flying first class, and elevation mixed with plenty of alcohol took it's toll on him. Mouse and I enjoyed a the Hot tub and then it was off to the Temple for spaghetti dinner.

This dinner for out of town guests set the stage for the wedding party that was to take place on Saturday afternoon. It was great to see Klink's relatives, as well as meet Noreen's friends and family members. The energy flowing in and around the temple was amazing, so much love & joy for this special couple. Post dinner included a trip to the Corner bar at the Boulderado Hotel providing all of us a chance to get to know each other a little better.

A trip to the men's room revealed the ceiling in the lobby of the Boulderado. I remarked to one of Noreen's relatives that the design was truly captivating, so simple in design, yet somehow as mesmerizing as the ceiling of the Buckstaff bathhouse. Mouse, Klink and I would later find ourselves sitting in the lobby in cushy leather chairs under the cantilevered cherry staircase sipping bourbon, staring at the ceiling while reminiscing of days gone by. We eventually hailed Mark a taxi and sent him off to his hotel while Mouse and I retired back to Brian's house for some rest.

Friday Morning- Hall Ranch Ride

Friday started off with a red eye, some turkey salad, and lot's of H20. I picked a bike out of Brian's cache of Full Suspension rigs, and we all rallied to get out the door for Mark's final Mountain Bike ride as a bachelor. The participants would include Myself, Brian, Biff, Mouse, and naturally Mark. I made certain I was adequately hydrated for this excursion. Visiting at 6500 feet was going to be challenge enough for my sea level lungs. I was pleasantly surprised when Brian rolled out at a very casual pace. A pace that my friend Trout often refers to as the smokers pace. We started climbing immediately out of the parking lot. The trail was buff from the get go, but Brian clearly advised there would be some hiking required. I'm no Trailsin rider, but I can hold my own through nearly all the technical stuff here in Northern New England. The climb was challenging, and yes even required getting off our rigs and carrying them over rocks the size of moguls on a Sunny Spring day at Killington's Outer Limits. With my lungs gasping for more air in this this Oxygen deprived environment I simply could not maintain enough momentum to power over these rocks. We climbed up to a park bench at a plateau where our loop would begin which would include some choice views of Longs peak and Mt. Meeker.

After regrouping we started with a nice twisting descent thru a small stretch of pines, and then another ascent to the bitterbrush trail. From there we looped back around descending on some of the buffest, undulating single track that the front range has to offer. Klink, Biff and I then climbed back up to the Plateau where the park bench was located, and proceeded to punch it down the dual track loaded up with them mogul sized boulders we encountered on the way up. Why is it always easier to descend that burly stuff, then it is to climb it? Gravity is the answer baby! The full suspension rig I was on rolled like butter through the boulders on the descent. I was however forced to dismount at one point when I came to the realization that I had a wedding attend, and I really didn't want to spend the weekend recovering from an injury, when I was supposed to be ripping it up with my old college buddies. I dialed it back, and just enjoyed the view while descending back to the car.

Some of the wildlife encountered on this ride included a heard of white tail deer, as well as some black tailed prairie dogs. Back at the car we loaded up, and stopped at Oskar Blues for some refreshments, and lunch.

Post lunch we headed back to Boulder to hose off, and run errands for Mark to ensure that his Friday night dinner for out of town guests would go off without a hitch. This included picking up some mind lubricant from the Redfish (more on the Redfish later).

Old faces and many new ones

After my arrival at DIA the Supershuttle whisked me off to Bob and Linda's house. Here I would meet the youngest cousins of the Rose clan, Jada, and Autumn. Jada just turned three years old, and Autumn is thirteen months old. Autumn and I got along great at the dinner table. Like me she savors her food, so there we sat for almost an hour indulging in Bobby's Yellow Curry.
Post dinner there was some time for play before Bobby was to drop me off at the Mountain Sun.

I walked into the Mountain Sun with bags in hand to be greeted by Klink and Noreen, followed by introductions to Cousin Patty and Cousin Mare, who disappointingly were on their way out the door. It was at this very point that my head began swimming with additional introductions to people. I immediately set to work in an attempt to process all these names and faces for future reference over the course of the weekend. This would be no easy task. Klink and I had a chance to catch up and formulate a game plan for Friday's bike ride at Hall Ranch. He assured me that it would be low key, and they would take it easy on my sea-level lungs. After several beers, Noreen dropped me off at Brian's house where I would be setting up my temporary housing with the Jamison brothers for the weekend.

I wish I was a headlight on a northbound train.

I'm headed to Boulder this weekend for Klink and Noreen's wedding. It should prove to be a hoot! It's been five years since my last trip to Boulder. The only disappointing thing about Colorado, is having to leave. Flying out Thursday morning and returning Sunday night.
Needless to say I traded my third row seats for Medeski, Martin, Wood, and Scofield to Michael for dinner at his place.

Invest in the happiness you can create.

Inspiring bit of wisdom isn't it?

No Hangover here

This weekends events involved a major city on the eastern seaboard, as well as some of the finest Belgian beers available. I arrived into the Alewife T station located on the fringe of Boston around 4:20 on Saturday afternoon. After parking my car, and getting my T pass, I made my way to Downtown Crossing via the Red line. I then proceeded to wait for Manzo, which is nothing new, as everyone waits for Manzo. I think Manzo middle name is Tardy. Once Manzo arrived we headed out to the vicinity of the Cyclorama, where the Belgian beer would be flowing freely, but only 2 ounces at a time.

I decided to exercise moderation for this event, and it paid off. I managed to wake up on Manzo's couch on Sunday morning without a hangover. Bonus. Although the extra hour of sleep really didn't amount to much since I awoke at 6:00am to the sounds of the wind whipping against the windows of Manzo's fresh bachelor pad. After pulling my stuff together it was off to Mikes for some cannolli then onto the T for my trip back to the car for the drive home to VT.

The remainder of the day was spent enjoying some QT with the entire family.

I'm not scared

I'm going on a roadtrip Saturday to Boston to visit my friend Manzo. We have been hemming and hawwing about going to a Patriots game this season, and I ran out of steam and desire to head down to the new stadium.
Instead We are headed to the Belgian Beer Fest that is happening this weekend at the The Boston Center for the Arts.

I'm also going to try and fit in a trip to Lush to grab up some treats for the girls.

The Kiss

I love kissing my partner. Since we decided to take a break from one another for a few weeks, it seems that every aspect of our relationship is evolving into something new and exciting. The kiss seems different. Vivace is the word that comes to mind.

Maybe that's how I popped this blood vessel in my eye.

Healthy, but sore.

While my partner and I are sorting out our relationship, I have been doing some soul searching of my own which has in turn enabled me to examine what I want out of our relationship. I have been informed that I am a healthy person. This is reassuring. Now as far as that Yoga thing goes, I seem to be sore in some core areas of my body that I didn't anticipate. I think Yoga may assist with creating even more flexibility in my life.

Now onto the complicated stout... I'm thinking about brewing an Imperial Stout with a super high ABV and IBU content. Doah, don't they go hand in hand anyway?

The sky is clearing

Monday night was rather relaxing. I bailed out of work and headed home to pick up my things for the night as well as the stuff needed for the yoga class.
It was the first time I had actually done yoga, aside from my sisters living room when she was going thru her training. It was a challenging and exhaustive experience, yet relaxing and exhilarating at the same time. I found that it required me remain focused otherwise I may end up falling on my tail. I enjoyed it enough to consider participating in a yoga lass a few times a month.
Cynthia and I had dinner at the Thai place next to Pliny park. Both of us remarking that we never get to spend quality time like this together. We got to catch up, and talk about relationship dynamics and the hard work that is involved in order to make it work. We share similar ideologies, and that coupled with her life experiences has helped me in moving thru this tough time.

I'm making dinner tonight for some of the folks on Highland Ave. Murph is in Santa Barbara on business this week, so I'm feeding Tara and Liam. Brian's children are visiting today, and he's still recovering from Lyme disease, so I volunteered to make dinner for them. Lasagna is on the menu for tonght. I can't wait to see my family on Wednesday. They truly brighten my days.

Things are looking up.

This weekend was nice. A bit hectic but nice. It all started out on Friday evening with the most brilliant double rainbow I have ever seen and concluded with a great date. It seems that this cloud lingering over me is starting to pass. My weekend was filled with traveling around the back roads of rural Vermont catching up with people that I haven't seen in awhile, as well as completing my OEC refresher responsibilities so that I may participate as a member of the Mt. Snow Ski patrol again this year.

My partner and I had a date Sunday night, and it was great. I truly missed her last week, as well as those days without the children. This separation has helped me to realize how much I love my family and how important space is needed in order to help maintain a caring, and nurturing relationship with the ones you love. We still face some difficult work ahead, but I am optimistic that the outcome will spawn a brilliant new experience for my partner and I that will naturally include our children.

Jay was firmly diagnosed with bacterial meningitis and suffered a life threatening septic shock. He is still in the hospital and on the mend. Elk has bee posting the updates here. My prayers and thoughts go out to the DeJesus family for Jay's speedy recovery.

It could always be worse

I got some bad new yesterday in regards to a good friend of mine from high school. Seems my friend and cycling compadre Jay DeJesus was recently hospitalized for an unknown illness. Elk called me last night to catch me up on some the details, but had to cut the conversation short to go look for his dog, who as it turns out was snacking on catfood at the neighbors house.

My prayers and thought go out to Jay and his family for a quick recovery.

Practice not knowing.

Today has been a pretty good day. I recently had dinner with a friend of mine who is in a similar situation as mine. Her advice was to move through the dark days one day at a time, one cup of coffee at a time. The healing process is slow, but I'm told it gets a little easier as time goes by. Some days will be better then others

On the lighter side I have ten gallons of French Country Ale in the primary fermenter bubbling away happily. I expect that I'll have some time to rack it towards the end of the weekend. My next beer is still up in the air. Any brewing suggestions would be appreciated.

It's okay to nourish your soul all the time

This is something I have been missing out on. Due to the recent events in my life I am compelled to break some old patterns, and establish new ones. With that said, I have been riding my bike at least once a week, and sometimes twice. It's a far cry from the days of putting in 100-150 miles packed into six.
Beer brewing is going well, aside from my struggles with acheiving my desired gravity at times.
Ski season is upon us. I'm looking forward to getting out with my family as much as possible this season. It's such a fabulous sport, and both Winter and Grace love the snow. :)

I'm going to my sister's Yoga class next week with my mother-in-law. It's hard to believe my sister has been teaching Yoga for years, and I have yet to experience anything remotely close to yoga aside from the poses we have done in her living room.

If you want clarity clear the space.

This is great advice. My partner and I are taking a break right now. While I was apprehensive and scared about us giving each other some space (last night seemed to drag on forever due to all the free time) I'm starting to feel better about how seperation can help bring clarity.

Today is starting out as a good day. I feel good about myself today. It feels as if some healing has begun. I see better days ahead, but understand fully that I will most certainly still be exposed the the rollercoaster of emotions to come but I'm ready for it, not looking forward to it, but ready.


Measuring a summers day,
I only finds it slips away to grey,
The hours, they bring me pain.

Tangerine, tangerine,
Living reflection from a dream;
I was her love, she was my queen,
And now a thousand years between.

Thinking how it used to be,
Does she still remember times like these?
To think of us again?
And I do.

Loss

Stages of the Loss Process
Denial
Bargaining
Anger
Despair
Acceptance

I have experienced most of these stages in recent weeks. Some more then others.

Upside Down

My life has taken a turn like no other then I can possibly express in words right now. It has been turned upside down. I wish I could explain my situation fully, but do not feel that this is is the appropriate place. I am able to share the fact that I am in the process of sorting out the most important relationship in my life.

I can report that these recent events have made me feel angry, sad, depressed, and in despair. I'm presently trying to cope with this situation in order to begin the healing process so that I may be able to get on with my life. I have cried more in the past five days then I probably have in the past five years.

Life is funny

I took a course at UVM that covered negotiations and negotiating. The teacher often said "Life is funny". What he meant by saying this was basically. You can never be certain what is going to happen in your life, but when you encounter interactions that could lead to potentially unfavorable outcomes, make the best of it, and don't burn your bridges. You never know when you may encounter them again, and who knows what could happen if the tables are turned?
Treat everyone with respect.

He was right, Life is funny.

going where the wind do blow so strange.

Simple Stout

I'm brewing my first stout this weekend. A remarkably simple beer.

Roasted Barley
Flaked Barley
Pale Malt
Malted Wheat
East Kent Goldings Hops
Yeast
water

No wonder the Irish love this stuff.

drink down the bottle and your ready to kill!