Monday, October 30, 2006

No Hangover here

This weekends events involved a major city on the eastern seaboard, as well as some of the finest Belgian beers available. I arrived into the Alewife T station located on the fringe of Boston around 4:20 on Saturday afternoon. After parking my car, and getting my T pass, I made my way to Downtown Crossing via the Red line. I then proceeded to wait for Manzo, which is nothing new, as everyone waits for Manzo. I think Manzo middle name is Tardy. Once Manzo arrived we headed out to the vicinity of the Cyclorama, where the Belgian beer would be flowing freely, but only 2 ounces at a time.

I decided to exercise moderation for this event, and it paid off. I managed to wake up on Manzo's couch on Sunday morning without a hangover. Bonus. Although the extra hour of sleep really didn't amount to much since I awoke at 6:00am to the sounds of the wind whipping against the windows of Manzo's fresh bachelor pad. After pulling my stuff together it was off to Mikes for some cannolli then onto the T for my trip back to the car for the drive home to VT.

The remainder of the day was spent enjoying some QT with the entire family.

Friday, October 27, 2006

I'm not scared

I'm going on a roadtrip Saturday to Boston to visit my friend Manzo. We have been hemming and hawwing about going to a Patriots game this season, and I ran out of steam and desire to head down to the new stadium.
Instead We are headed to the Belgian Beer Fest that is happening this weekend at the The Boston Center for the Arts.

I'm also going to try and fit in a trip to Lush to grab up some treats for the girls.

Thursday, October 26, 2006

The Kiss

I love kissing my partner. Since we decided to take a break from one another for a few weeks, it seems that every aspect of our relationship is evolving into something new and exciting. The kiss seems different. Vivace is the word that comes to mind.

Maybe that's how I popped this blood vessel in my eye.

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Healthy, but sore.

While my partner and I are sorting out our relationship, I have been doing some soul searching of my own which has in turn enabled me to examine what I want out of our relationship. I have been informed that I am a healthy person. This is reassuring. Now as far as that Yoga thing goes, I seem to be sore in some core areas of my body that I didn't anticipate. I think Yoga may assist with creating even more flexibility in my life.

Now onto the complicated stout... I'm thinking about brewing an Imperial Stout with a super high ABV and IBU content. Doah, don't they go hand in hand anyway?

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

The sky is clearing

Monday night was rather relaxing. I bailed out of work and headed home to pick up my things for the night as well as the stuff needed for the yoga class.
It was the first time I had actually done yoga, aside from my sisters living room when she was going thru her training. It was a challenging and exhaustive experience, yet relaxing and exhilarating at the same time. I found that it required me remain focused otherwise I may end up falling on my tail. I enjoyed it enough to consider participating in a yoga lass a few times a month.
Cynthia and I had dinner at the Thai place next to Pliny park. Both of us remarking that we never get to spend quality time like this together. We got to catch up, and talk about relationship dynamics and the hard work that is involved in order to make it work. We share similar ideologies, and that coupled with her life experiences has helped me in moving thru this tough time.

I'm making dinner tonight for some of the folks on Highland Ave. Murph is in Santa Barbara on business this week, so I'm feeding Tara and Liam. Brian's children are visiting today, and he's still recovering from Lyme disease, so I volunteered to make dinner for them. Lasagna is on the menu for tonght. I can't wait to see my family on Wednesday. They truly brighten my days.

Sunday, October 22, 2006

Things are looking up.

This weekend was nice. A bit hectic but nice. It all started out on Friday evening with the most brilliant double rainbow I have ever seen and concluded with a great date. It seems that this cloud lingering over me is starting to pass. My weekend was filled with traveling around the back roads of rural Vermont catching up with people that I haven't seen in awhile, as well as completing my OEC refresher responsibilities so that I may participate as a member of the Mt. Snow Ski patrol again this year.

My partner and I had a date Sunday night, and it was great. I truly missed her last week, as well as those days without the children. This separation has helped me to realize how much I love my family and how important space is needed in order to help maintain a caring, and nurturing relationship with the ones you love. We still face some difficult work ahead, but I am optimistic that the outcome will spawn a brilliant new experience for my partner and I that will naturally include our children.

Jay was firmly diagnosed with bacterial meningitis and suffered a life threatening septic shock. He is still in the hospital and on the mend. Elk has bee posting the updates here. My prayers and thoughts go out to the DeJesus family for Jay's speedy recovery.

Friday, October 20, 2006

It could always be worse

I got some bad new yesterday in regards to a good friend of mine from high school. Seems my friend and cycling compadre Jay DeJesus was recently hospitalized for an unknown illness. Elk called me last night to catch me up on some the details, but had to cut the conversation short to go look for his dog, who as it turns out was snacking on catfood at the neighbors house.

My prayers and thought go out to Jay and his family for a quick recovery.

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Practice not knowing.

Today has been a pretty good day. I recently had dinner with a friend of mine who is in a similar situation as mine. Her advice was to move through the dark days one day at a time, one cup of coffee at a time. The healing process is slow, but I'm told it gets a little easier as time goes by. Some days will be better then others

On the lighter side I have ten gallons of French Country Ale in the primary fermenter bubbling away happily. I expect that I'll have some time to rack it towards the end of the weekend. My next beer is still up in the air. Any brewing suggestions would be appreciated.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

It's okay to nourish your soul all the time

This is something I have been missing out on. Due to the recent events in my life I am compelled to break some old patterns, and establish new ones. With that said, I have been riding my bike at least once a week, and sometimes twice. It's a far cry from the days of putting in 100-150 miles packed into six.
Beer brewing is going well, aside from my struggles with acheiving my desired gravity at times.
Ski season is upon us. I'm looking forward to getting out with my family as much as possible this season. It's such a fabulous sport, and both Winter and Grace love the snow. :)

I'm going to my sister's Yoga class next week with my mother-in-law. It's hard to believe my sister has been teaching Yoga for years, and I have yet to experience anything remotely close to yoga aside from the poses we have done in her living room.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

If you want clarity clear the space.

This is great advice. My partner and I are taking a break right now. While I was apprehensive and scared about us giving each other some space (last night seemed to drag on forever due to all the free time) I'm starting to feel better about how seperation can help bring clarity.

Today is starting out as a good day. I feel good about myself today. It feels as if some healing has begun. I see better days ahead, but understand fully that I will most certainly still be exposed the the rollercoaster of emotions to come but I'm ready for it, not looking forward to it, but ready.

Measuring a summers day,
I only finds it slips away to grey,
The hours, they bring me pain.

Tangerine, tangerine,
Living reflection from a dream;
I was her love, she was my queen,
And now a thousand years between.

Thinking how it used to be,
Does she still remember times like these?
To think of us again?
And I do.


Stages of the Loss Process

I have experienced most of these stages in recent weeks. Some more then others.

Monday, October 16, 2006

Upside Down

My life has taken a turn like no other then I can possibly express in words right now. It has been turned upside down. I wish I could explain my situation fully, but do not feel that this is is the appropriate place. I am able to share the fact that I am in the process of sorting out the most important relationship in my life.

I can report that these recent events have made me feel angry, sad, depressed, and in despair. I'm presently trying to cope with this situation in order to begin the healing process so that I may be able to get on with my life. I have cried more in the past five days then I probably have in the past five years.