Got my laptop back

I got my laptop back today. What a PITA that was. I need to buy the IT guy lunch today for all the hardwork he did to recover my data. He even gave me a RAM upgrade to boot. Yipee! Now all I need to do is get a gasp of air before I dive back into my day and make up for losing the last three days without my computer.

Haiku Wednesday

Winter storm brewing
February snow fall
Want some hot cocoa?

Recovery, blogging, and Ben Harper

Despite Friday's disaster with my laptop, I managed to actually stay busy at the office all day with minimal distractions. Enough shop talk. I try to avoid talking about work if at all possible. It's not that I don't enjoy my work, I'd simply rather engage in more interesting topics like beer, cycling, or winter sports. Lately I have been sharing some aspects of my most intimate relationships and the many emotions that come with them.

I'm doing okay most days, managing to get thru each day 24 hours at a time. Some days are better then others. The past 9 months of my life feel like a Ben Harper song. Pick one, any one cause it seems so many of them ring true to some aspect regarding my life experiences in the past 9 months. I even had a dream recently that Ben Harper was a close friend of mine, and he kept coming to me for ideas on new material.
BTW- Finnie was our special suprise guest for dinner last Thursday! Finnnnnie.

Crash and burn

When it rains it pours. My laptop crashed first thing this morning. Seems my hardrive is not being recognized. GULP! Wait, it gets better The company IT specialist is off ice fishing today, and I have not backed up my local outlook files in close to a month. Double Gulp. For now I'm stuck in the billing department working off my roaming profile, and telnetting to the mail server to get my mail. Guess I better download CRT or something to make reading my mail tolerable.
It's shaping up to be a long day. Did I mention it was -1 f this morning, so I skipped my run. In hindsight, I guess I should have ran, and kept on running, or taken the day off and gone to Killington with my brother. My prediction for today is that I will not get shit done at the office. It's a pity I don't have my ski/snowboard gear because my office is only 50 minutes from Killington.
It's another Fucking glorius day!

A visit from Uncle Tommie

My brother Thomas and his friend Larry are coming to visit for some skiing. Tonight we'll be making pizza at the house with the everyone but Iz. She's working tonight. Pizza and beer Yum. Word is there will also be a surprise visitor joining us this evening. Despite the cold temps we'll be skiing this weekend. A posse not including myself is headed to Killington Friday. Saturday & Sunday at Mt. Snow. Winty will be skiing with us if it's not to insanely cold. Sunday will be a ski patrol day for me. Lot's of fresh air and sunshine this weekend.

Haiku Wednesday

Abundant weather
Cold blustery conditions
Let's bake some cookies.

Muddling thru

Today was a very difficult. I found myself hanging on by a thread all day. Many different emotions passed thru me today. Some of them included joy, fear, sadness, and anger. Today was a day of letting go, and it was very hard. Tomorrow is a new day.

Weather fizzle

Trout reports that the weather system that potentially could have provided us a nice dump, has fizzled. It's just going to be cold this weekend. Baa!

Baking cookies instead of practicing my survival skills

Late in the day last Friday I decided to bail out on the Glastenbury trip for the weekend. Temps were going to be way to cold, and the wind. It would have been a miserable endless slog in and out. Instead I went out for a shorter low key hike with the girls, and baked cookies. Oatmeal chocolate chip cookies to be exact.
Since I was staying home this weekend I suggested to Iz the possibility of dinner guests Saturday night. Christine and Trevor came up with Autumn and Ethan. The children hardly ate a bite by the way. Too much excitement for them. It was great to catch up with Trevor. He finally got to see my brewing operation. Wow, it's been a long time since he's been to the house! It was nice to be hanging out with friends at home, enjoying some nice dinner, homebrew, and good conversation. Christine clearly enjoyed copious amounts of wine, and would surely be in pain Sunday morning.
This week is shaping up to be a really busy one jam packed with work, visitors, and appointments. Thomas and Roddy are arriving for a visit this week for some skiing. I may try to take off Friday and go to Killington if my schedule permits.
BTW I was at the Mountain Sunday, and the temps finally got up to .4 f around 2pm at the summit. This made me think how F-ing cold camping out would have been Saturday night.

Weather discussion for next Thur & Fri

WTF? Here is the current weather discussion for next week. At this rate I'll be able to ski up to Glastenbury. Could be a big event headed our way.

THU AND FRI...

WOW!!! HOW ABOUT THAT 12Z GFS AND 12Z UKMET? A CLASSIC NEW ENGLAND COASTAL BOMB WITH SYSTEM BECOMING VERTICAL STACKED...YIELDING A LONG DURATION WINTER EVENT HERE. ALTHOUGH...WE MUST BE REALISTIC AS THIS IS STILL 6-7 DAYS AWAY. HOWEVER...THE 12Z GFS ENSEMBLE MEAN HAS TRENDED DEEPER AND FARTHER SOUTH WITH BOTH THE UPPER TROF AND SURFACE LOW. THIS IS SIGNIFICANT AND COULD BE THE BEGINNING OF A TREND. 12Z GGEM NOT AS AMPLIFIED AND 12Z ECMWF HAS BACKED OFF FROM ITS PREVIOUS RUN. LOTS OF MIXED SIGNALS AMONG THE MODELS...HOWEVER THE LONG WAVE PATTERN DURING THIS TIME FRAME DOES FAVOR A SIGNIFICANT PRECIP EVENT

HERE IN NEW ENGLAND...WITH A +PNA ALONG WITH A -NAO. IN ADDITION...

RESEARCH FROM THE GOOD FOLKS AT UALBANY INDICATE IT/S DURING THIS TYPE OF PHASE CHANGE...PNA BECOMING POSITIVE AND THE NAO BECOMING NEGATIVE THAT CLIMATOLOGY FAVORS A LARGE PRECIP EVENT HERE IN THE NORTHEAST.

LOTS OF DETAILS TO BE WORKED OUT...ESPECIALLY ON HOW PROGRESSIVE THE WESTERN RIDGE BECOMES AND ITS AMPLITUDE...WHICH WILL ULTIMATELY IMPACT THE CONFIGURATION AND DEPTH OF THE DOWNSTREAM TROF HERE IN THE EAST. HOWEVER ENOUGH SUPPORT HERE TO KEEP CHANCE OF SNOW IN THE FORECAST THU AND FRI. STAY TUNED!

Prudence

1. the quality or fact of being prudent.
2. caution with regard to practical matters; discretion.
3. regard for one's own interests.

With that said...Yet again I'm going to likely postpone my camping adventure. The updated weather forecast is calling for sustained winds up to 50 mph Saturday night, Wind Chill Saturday night around -22f. I may be crazy, but I'm no fool. So yes, postponing this trip would seem to be the prudent thing to do, after all this event should be a positive experience, one that doesn't include testing the limits of my survival abilities. Trout, Bo, and I may still do a quick scramble up Bald Mtn. Saturday.

Preperations for the weekend.

I'm getting all my gear together for Saturday. Trout has been providing weather updates, and forecasts daily. We have been discussing how the weather may play out this weekend. With any luck perhaps a little snow may keep the temps on the warmer side. The unknown variable concerning any snow squalls in the area could be the difference between .5 inches, and seven inches. Hiking in the snow can be allot of fun, hiking in the wind can be a PITA. The other concern is the wind. Forecasts are for wind speeds of 20-25 mph out of the north. I don't know how psyched I am to have that blowing in my face all day.
Murph has a fly that he is going to lend me to set up in the shelter. It's a free standing fly that I'm planning on using to trap in some heat, and some extra, and shelter from the wind.
Trout and Bo have volunteered to join me to the summit of Bald Mtn. I'll use this initial stretch of the trip to gauge whether or not I want to carry on if the weather is too gnarly.

Haiku Wednesday

Gathering my gear
New moon on Glastenbury
~Vision Quest for me.

Racking beer and Drinking Beer

I stopped by the house to pick up a few things, and kill some time before heading over the see Ray last night. While in the basement I dispensed the last bit of Porter into a growler. While it may seem like it was consumed rather quickly (3.5 weeks) this keg actually carried me through several holiday events, not to mention football games. I had five more gallon in secondary fermentation, that I racked into a keg, and put on gas. My beer inventory is getting pretty lean, so after my camping trip I think it will be time to buckle down and get brewing again.
I met up with Ray for some good conversation and some exceptional beer last night. The dead horse IPA is dead on. He's great brewer, a brilliant man, and an awesome friend. I filled him in on my plans for the weekend. Looks like it may snow Friday.
Today is the first Wednesday in months that Iz and I have not gone to see Joe. Wow.
Being separated does pose some logistical challenges, and requires one to constantly rearrange priorities. The space is nice, not being grounded is a bit of a hassle.

The list of required gear

I'm putting my mental list together of the equipment that I will need for my vision quest. I started pulling equipment out of the attic yesterday. Winter camping for me has been a great way to look inward. Going solo this time will hopefully provide me with some insight as well as clarity.

Comes a time
when the blind man takes your hand
says: don't you see?
got to make it somehow
on the dreams you still believe
Don't give it up
you've got an empty cup
only love can fill

taking me to the rack

It's the the third day in a row of rain. Why can't it be snowing? Today we are enjoying Freezing rain. The girls are going stir crazy, not to mention myself. Despite the heinous conditions, We need to get outside. This is going to be essential to preserving our sanity today.
So off we go for our adventure in the freezing rain. This of course will be concluded by some hot cocoa when we finish jumping in every puddle in the neighborhood.
I need to start getting all my camping gear ready for the weekend. Looks like it will be a cold one.

Impromptu pizza party

Distractions, Distractions. Well the Eagles lost Saturday night, shattering their hopes for another visit to the super bowl. They made it a heck of a lot further then I thought they would after Mcnabb's injury laid him up for the rest of the season.
A call from Eve with an invitation to watch the Pat's game at her parents house on Sunday afternoon prompted me to suggest and put the wheels in motion to watch the game at my house. After all, I do have this enormous 52 inch television that came out of my Grammy's house after she passed away a few years ago. Why not watch the game on the bog screen? My quiet evening of watching football with the girls would turn into an impromptu pizza party. Eve and Michel, Henry and Rachael, and then all the children, err....Girls Five of them to be exact. Olivia didn't make it but it was still a house full of young girls running around having a good old time while us adults munched on homemade pizza, and beer. Oh and the desert, yes one cannot forget Eve's sinfully delicious chocolate raspberry squares. So Heavenly.
All is well.

Warm and moist

The skiing was actually pretty good Saturday despite the lack of terrain, the crap weather, and the skier traffic? I really don't like working the patrol gig on Saturday's but it has become somewhat of a essential evil this season only because of scheduling. It does however provide me with the distraction I need right now.

Weekend Plans, not as planned.

It would seem that none of my original plans for this weekend are actually going to work out. Even my contingency plan fell through. My back up to my back up plan? Maybe I'll make some beer this weekend. It's been over a month since the last time I brewed. It's not that my beer situation is in short supply, oddly enough I have cut back on my consumption lately and it feels pretty good.
So I'll be working at the Mountain on Saturday, followed by some Eagles Football Saturday night. Lay low Sunday & Monday with the girls depending on how the weather actually shakes out. Finish off the holiday with some Yoga Monday evening, and a solo sushi excursion.

Taking a Break

I have decided to take break from everything right now to re-examine the vital relationships in my life. With so much running through my head I can't even think straight anymore. It has become my Stop the Madness campaign. I'm doing this in an effort to prevent any destructive behavior that will have only deleterious effects on all of those that I love, including myself. I don't want to ride this roller coaster right now, so I'm taking a break. Under the recommendo of Elk, I think I'll take a walk in the woods for a few days to help sort this out. I'm considering the Glastenbury loop located in the Bennington Triangle. Who knows, perhaps I'll encounter some extraterrestrials that my provide insight on interdimensional travel. Now I just need to make the time to do it. It would seem I could do it without any light under the a new moon or under the light of a full moon.

Haiku Wednesday

Breezy Winter day.
Swirling Eddies all around.
-It's a Jimi thing.

Stop the Madness

It's time for me to take a break and meditate in order to more closely examine my dream. Right now my reality is occluded and this hampering my ability to make clear decisions on my path in this life.
I have been spending time at B's house which is the ideal setting for meditation. No phones, No Internet. In short no distractions. I sat and meditated last night for an unknown period of time. I eventually laid down, and continued until I passed out. I feel that I probably could have gone all night just sitting there, breathing, and being in the moment. Usually I am able to just free my mind of all thoughts the difference with my meditation last night was all the thoughts that came and went, like shooting stars starting so vividly then disintegrating into nothing.

There are things you can replace, and others you cannot.
The time has come to weigh those things.
This space is getting hot, you know this space is getting hot.

Soft moon thru Maple branches

This shot was taken Wednesday night during the last full moon. While it's a more of an artistic shot, I guess? I never really considered myself an artist. It doesn't even compare to the early morning moon setting behind the tower at the retreat, or the moon rising over the hills of New Hampshire on my commute home Wednesday night.

Some wisdom to reflect on

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it's yours. If it doesn't, it never was...

This was shared with me early this morning and the more I think about it, the greater the meaning for me in my life right now.

Haiku Wednesday

Full moon at my back.
Twilight on the Horizon.
-Grazed by a car.

Black ice. It must be Winter!

Seems that Winter never really settles in for me until we get a few snow storms under our belt, and I get witness vehicles sailing off the road before my very eyes. It snowed last Saturday, and we got about an inch in town. Right, Whoopee.
This morning on my commute to the office some flatlanders from Maryland zipped by me on the interstate. They seemed to be in control of their vehicle until I saw the brake lights, then that tell tale swerve, followed by them over compensating, and breaking at 75 miles an hour on the black ice. They didn't quite do a donut, but they did get entirely sideways. The driver trying to recover turned the wheel hard in the opposite direction, and almost pulled out of it, but made that crucial mistake of laying on the brakes again, and that's when they crashed off the left side of the passing lane, into the median. Lucky for them the didn't flip, the car came to a rest in the dirt and snow between the north and southbound lanes of 91. I eased off the gas, slowing down and watching all of this unfold before my very eyes. It is always a surreal experience to see vehicles crashing around me as I'm driving down the highway. The irony of all this, is that the fire department and State police were already dealing with another wrecked car almost 100 meters south of where this jeep crashed. Drive safely out there. life is not a video game.

I continue to grieve daily, and wonder where the hell my life is taking me. I'd like to think all is well, but I'm not so sure. Skiing and my children seem to provide the only distraction from falling deeper into more sadness, and pain.

Surreal New Years day

Make mental note to self for the new year. Don't mix beer and wine to excessive levels. I don't no how it happened, but I somehow managed to get totally trashed on New Year's Eve. It wasn't even by design either. I seemed to have most of my faculties when I left Michael's restaurant, but that is when things get hazy...
The first day of the year turned out pretty good. Family days are fun.